Why does this has to be this way?

I was just wondering how muchi stand in his heart! Because it is really infuriating for me to care abt someone and not get any return. What is more is that i even tried to stop being stupid but i just cannot help it at all! Now i can only blame it on myself, deserves me right to drop in this bottomless pit... i just cant help but to fall deeper into the hole... when can i stop myself from plunging too much? haix...

he is a nice guy and a shy one too... he is just too cute.. saw him yeaterday when he passed me the money... haix... so lang bei... he looked so disheveles... almost hopeless.... wish him all the best lorx... he is not workin tomorrow coz he is doin proj. i think i will be meetin him on tues for the BBQ. hmmm... haix... forgot what to write le... dots..